02 January 2008

Partially Resolute

Oh, the New Year... I rung you in with a shower, sweatpants, and Martini and Rossi with homemade grenadine. There was that potato leek tart, bacon wrapped shrimp, butter pecan bread, and misbehavior with boys who are so much of what I want and nothing that I need.

I don't 'make resolutions'. I just. don't. But admittedly, I'm using the start of 2008 as sort of a pistol to start the race. It's hard to change. It's so hard to change. But there are things that I want to do for myself (is this cliche enough for you yet?).

Among them, I've eliminated red meat, or rather, it is my goal to not eat it for 2008. I never intend to fully eliminate meat, but I'd prefer to eliminate beef for the time being, eat pork sparingly, and stick primarily to chicken and fish.

I'm going to make a concerted effort to eat only 'real' food. I don't eat a lot of bagged things as it is now. I don't buy chips. I'm a perimeter shopper, save for pasta and canned items which are usually only beans and tomatoes.

I quit drinking soda, or rather, only drink it now as a treat. In the last two moths I've had...three cans? Four? I used to drink eight A DAY.

I'm going to slow my roll a bit with the alcohol, you know, since I drank a whole bottle of Beefeater yesterday. I usually go home and have a glass of wine or two, but I think I want to maybe keep it to weekends unless I'm out at dinner. Drinking is a social/cultural thing to me. I do it because it makes me happy--not as an alcohol thing, but as an experiential thing.

More gym time. Period. I'm getting better, but honestly, I'm STILL in pain from my accident, and I simply cannot run. This means completely reconfiguring my workout. But still.

I've set a bunch of financial goals, one of which is to buy a car, preferably a Saab, and to mortgage a place by the time I'm 30. That's kind of lofty, but I have a second inheritance check on its way and I'm hopefully going to QUIT MY FUCKING JOB by June? I hope.

But that's not what you want to hear about. You do not care about my dietary changes and my checking account balance. Most of the time, I don't either.

I feel like this blog kind of went to shit after I deleted it twice and moved the URL. So my Adoption Goals for 2008 are to recommit to the blog, open up more of a dialog with my readers, MAKE PROGRESS in my relationship with Mary, and MAKE PROGRESS in coping with my own emotions regarding. Yes, adoption sucks. No, I don't enjoy it. In fact, I hate it.

RADICAL ACCEPTANCE: I CANNOT CHANGE THIS

So then what? More dialog, create awareness, create support, create a forum where you and I can be amicably pissed off as a way of generating and garnering understanding.

I sound like the fucking Geneva Convention.

But that's what I want.

Help me do it?

6 comments:

Judy said...

Can I help?

I don't know. If I can . . . I will. I'll try.

I could just be a hindrance, you know.

And my moods as of late are confusing even to me.

Suz said...

you know if there is anything i can do, just ask. you can call or email me anytime. and hey, i am alread planning my next trip out. you MUST dine with me again.

Still Born said...

when? and of course! and this time it's my treat!

Suz said...

Oh, maybe March? As soon as the snow and cold stops out there?

Still Born said...

Oh so really more like June then.

Suz said...

sad, but true, but lets hope its sooner than june. me is thinking aprilish.