11 May 2008

Word to Your Mother

I wrote this Mother's Day 2004.

I will sleep until noon or beyond.
I will eat cantaloupe and French bread for breakfast
I will eat the same thing for dinner at ten.
I will lay on my stomach in the bathtub,
I will blow bubbles in the water.
I will read books
Make phonecalls
Change my underwear
Take my allergy medication
Drink Starbucks
Laugh.
Tremble.

I will carry on my day as I have for the past twenty years.
And when it closes
I will lay my head against my pillow
And if the tears come
I will not fight them.
I will cry, and I will ache for you
My Mother
On Mother's Day
Childless.

3 comments:

Suz said...

Wow. Thats beautiful, M.

Birth Mom of Adoption said...

So you rather her be dead? I'm confused but trying to understand. I don't want my daughter to feel this way someday. I cry every day too, but God loves our tears. I don't know or really think you are a religious person, so that probably sounds insane to you...but it is a blessing (or can be) In our lowest times is when He is near. My daughter the most important thing in the world to me and I love her more than life. Would you rather die than be a birth mom? I agree to disagree with your blog. Especially the abortion issue!

BTW, The poll to vote link is not working. I'd say adoption is wonderful when it is done in the right way. I am white, however, so apparently I'm disqualified. I lived with 30 other women though in a birth mother's dorm, and at least 7 were not white...and they feel like me on the issue. So add plus 7 to the for adoption poll for me?

half&half said...

I wouldn't rather be dead, at least not here and at least not now. I'd rather have been aborted from the get-go. Likely, at some point, your daughter will feel like the most abandoned and worthless human being on earth, and chances are, she will either blame you or herself. I don't say this to be mean, I say it because it's true. Or she'll love you for it. But you really have to consider what's going to go through her head when she finds out the one person in the world she was supposed to be able to trust and depend on the most, the one person who was supposed to lover her unconditionally said 'no'.

I don't believe in god, and regardless of that fact, adoption has nothing to do with god. Nothing.

If I continue, I may get cruel. If you care to ask questions or open a dialog, you can e-mail me at:
infiniteprovocative at gmail dot com.