29 July 2007

Exodus

It's hard to know what to write when you don't know that you can write. I don't want to censor myself, and I write unapologetically because there is nothing to apologize for. This is my line, this is eternal.

I explained that the point of this blog, the voice of this blog, is produced such that I look like the asshole I feel like. It is designed to exacerbate the inferiority I fear and callousness I feel. I explained what it was meant for and that it was not meant for her. I explained that she should not be offended as I told her nothing. You can't penalize me for not inviting you to a fake funeral.

Things were explained, emails were written, this is the beginning of something, though I am not certain of what.

Start linking and commenting as you wish. I'm done caring. It's just Edith Piaf and me against the world now.

Ils sont partis dans un soleil d'hiver
Ils sont partis courir la mer
Pour éffacer la peur
Pour écraser la peur
Que la vie a clouée au fond du cœur

7 comments:

LeRoy Dissing said...

For whatever it is worth, I am glad you are here, writing and sharing your views, your story...and allowing me the opportunity to view/comment.

elizabeth said...

Je suis ici!

Et j'aime bien ton titre de Blog.

Judy said...

OK, You had me laughing at "Your new mommy and daddy," and now your additions here at "Leave your comment" are pretty priceless as well.

I'm not sure I can ensure I don't come across as a senseless asshole; that's the only thing. I try. Sometimes I succeed. I like to think I succeed more than I fail.

If you were to ask my husband, he would say that I never come across as a senseless asshole which is very interesting. I am more a senseless asshole to him than to anyone else on the face of the earth. One of the reasons that, despite his propensity for annoying habits, I keep him around. He makes me feel a bit like Mary Poppins -- practically perfect in every way -- which can be annoying in itself and makes me a senseless asshole and the circle of doom just keeps on going on and going and going . . . . ;)

Julie said...

*whew*

Thank you for leaving the trail of breadcrumbs - I was starting to go through withdrawal.

half&half said...

Sure thing.

Robin said...

really glad you're back. i'm not stalking you, i swear. Suz gave me your new address. :) keep up the great writing.

-Robin

Ungrateful Little Bastard said...

I got the 'look like the asshole I feel like' part. The opening post of one of my many previously deleted journals started with a line that read something like: "I have, without fail, distanced, disappointed, rejected and ultimately abandoned anyone and everyone in my life who ever cared about me, despite years of therapy. Is that because I'm ADOPTED, or because I'm an ASSHOLE? Personally, I believe the latter.'

Some days for me, I believe the same. Even more years of therapy later.

I'm glad you're back. Linking now.